Let it Snow!

I had no idea when we considering Kassel, Germany as our new home that we would be moving to the Arctic Circle.  Although today was quite warm 4-6 celcius, two weeks ago it was COLD (negative teens celcius).  I think we had 8 full days of snow. After taking Colt to school all week, I have a new respect for people who say they walked to school in the snow.   Seriously! A fifty meter walk to the tram (short), then we get off the tram at Hellebonneweg, listen to the running water of the stream, and walk across a sheep field to get to his kindergarten. The sheep field part was quite a trek in 6-8 inches of snow and by trek I mean I needed snowshoes to cross it!  Because Kassel does actually has winters here, snow days don't exist like they do in Oklahoma. People go about their daily business in the snow.  Unreal.
 
 I never dreamed I would think 36-38 degrees is warm!  LOL  Of course every snow has its perks, at the end of our street young children sled the bunny hill (only 50 meters away). Adults and small children line up and take turns on the slope.  It's fantastic.  A sweet stranger and her son coaxed Colt for about 20 minutes, but he was so scared he cried.  It didn't stop me from taking him home to his dad and going back for my first sled ride of my life.  FUN!  I loved it.  I love Kassel. I even love the snow!
Our backyard...a blizzard (in Nicole's world)

 

 

 

 Sledding on Willy Allee

Christmas Market in Kassel

I should wait to discuss Christmas Market until I have an entire month to experience it; however, we move tomorrow and I may not have the time this year or the internet access.

Every year the Kassel Market is given a theme that has something to do with fairy tales and/or the Brothers Grimm.  At one point, the fairytale duo lived in Kassel and the city is on their "fairytale route." It is magical festival both in the day and at night.  Like any carnival or festival, it consists of small wooden buildings selling things: crepes, brats, toys, beer, gluhwein, artisan items, sweets, kiddie rides etc. 

Why does it surpass other festivals in magical mystique?  Maybe the romantic white lights... or maybe because it occurs at Christmas time when people spirits are happy... Who knows??? As a German from Bavaria told us last night, every market has its own feel.  I hope next year that we can experience one of the festivals with from the middle ages.

For now, here are some pictures from Kassel Weihnachten 2012. Please allow some time for them to load. Merry Christmas and we love you all!

 

 

 

 

Advent Mania

Book stores, grocery stores, and just about every retail store you can imagine sell different types of Advent Calenders (since October).

Here is a list of the Advent Calenders I have seen so far:

Tea Varieties
Beauty Products
Crime/murder mystery type for 18 and up (I think...I wish my German was better because this would have been fun)
Body Shopp products
Playboy
Playgirl!  (ha ha only kidding, but I did see the 2013 calender)
Candy, truffles, and pralines beyond imagination
Truffles with note cards that you can personalize (I got this one for Justin since I know he hasn't been reading my blog)
Chocolates all liqueur filled
Chocolate all without liqueur
Chocolates divided into half for the evening (liqueur) and half for the day without booze
Do-it-yourself kits with shotglasses (ok, maybe candle holders but shots sound like more fun)
Science kits
Dinosaur bone kits
Mystery for @ age 12
Girly lip gloss/makeup type stuff
Lego themes abundant
Disney themes abundant
Playmobile - Farm
                      Police
                      Horses (girls)
                      Pirates
                      Princess/fairytale



And just to confirm if my husband reads my blog....I would like the one from the Body Shopp, Please and thank you! Or the murder mystery one, but you have to google translate! :)

 

 

What's that funky smell?

Yesterday, I was telling a friend how hard it was living here and not speaking German.  Everyone has had a couple years of grade school English and no one wants to use it.  If I am on the tram long enough, I am reminded of the bravery in humanity because someone will finally try a few words.   I know how hard it is to put yourself out there and be vulnerable to strangers and mistakes.  Today after about 6 stops, a 78 year old man starting speaking in English to Colt regarding a toy catalog.  Every stop, he remembered more words.  It was awesome.  He was beaming and so were we, so much so that we waved to him as he pulled away.

Anyway, the conversation about the difficulty reminded me of  the times I am grateful that English here is limited. If you have ever parented a toddler, then you know how they can say embarrassing things in public.  I'm saved from the embarrassment.

For example, my son has busted out TWICE on the tram with "I'm sexy and I know it.  Girl, look at that body." He always make me laugh and that encourages him to sing louder and shake his shoulders a little more.
The first time it was practically empty, but the second time it was packed.  The girl next to me looked at me funny and put in ear buds.  LOL  I still can't stop giggling about it.  It is his famous skype performance. lol

Another example happened yesterday, one stinky vagrant got on at each tram stop all the way downtown.  The 20 minute ride totalled 5 stinky men with body odor and booze stench abundant. It was like they planned it. They all knew each other.  One of them even had two ferrets tucked in his coat.  Ughhh, the undeniable down side to public transport.  Just as I was thinking we needed a car, Colt busts out with, "What's that smell?"  "It smells like stinky poo! Mom, mom, what is that?"  The whole time he is sniffing loudly.  Now, I am sure people figured out what Colt was playing at, but I am glad I wasn't forced to apologize or converse about it.  hahaha  Being the foreigner does have a few advantages.  :)

Deutsche Bank

Yesterday, I had a discussion with Hemingway's wife.  She is Finnish and was talking to me about how difficult Germany is in so many ways.  Finland has walk-in closets and apartments come with kitchens and fitted bathrooms.  So, when you hear me talk about differences, the differences could be with the US, with the rest of Europe, and even with some other Germany states areas.  I'm not experienced enough or well-traveled enough (yet) to be specific, so please understand this is only my perspective on moving to Kassel (Hessen state), Germany.

Banking

When you are ready to open a bank account, you must make an appointment.  Walk-ins are not welcome.  As a foreigner, by the time we showed up at our appointment our banker knew our employer, salary, and many other details.  Much like our apartment and new landlord, he chose us. We did not chose them.  It is an interesting outlook and quite different from the one in the US. We set 9900$ in cash on the table like many immigrants have in the past everywhere. It has become quite difficult to make international transfers anymore and if we had known that German declarations and customs didn't exist we would have transported much, much more. As of last week, our credit union (like many others including BofA) stopped international transfers because of too much liability and paperwork.  Awesome for the millions criminals who launder money.  Shitty for normal people like us who just need the money (we legally earned and paid taxes on) in accounts here.

He opened our account and was incredibly polite and helpful.  Justin and I drank espresso and Colt played with toys in a completely different room. :)

So, we now have EC cards.  Debit cards with computer chips like sim cards installed.  I can use it for groceries, shopping, etc. with a pin number.  They look at me comparing my face to their screen or sometimes they look at my signature and compare it to the screen.  Interesting.  Everyone is very careful.  We were offered credit card option based on our salary and we said no thank you.  No need.  After a simple international transfer, we have a debit.  Right?  Wrong.  The EC card cannot be used online at all, not for shopping, train tickets, airfare.  Nothing.  Hmmm, that won't do.

The Chase card that had no foreign transaction fees was a lie.  It's only for traveling.  If we live here, transaction fees out the ass. Whatever, we don't need United miles any more anyway.  Cancel.  So, Justin makes an appointment and goes back to the bank.  They were very nice to accept and deposit all of our US checks (escrow acct, etc).  Justin decides to get a needed credit card. Afterall, we are going to have to rent a car just to go to Ikea.

Details (remember I hate credit):

Credit limit: 5000 euros based on a salary, non-negotiable
Annual fee:  free for the first two years, then 40 euros a year
APR:  nothing,  whatever you spend that month comes straight out of your account automatically at the end of the month....Big "Nicole" Grin


Hardly anyone takes credit at all here, but it is helpful for trains, airfare, car rentals and hotels.  When I say hardly anyone takes credit, I mean a friend at work just bought a car in cash.  Literally, he went to the bank and pulled out 27.000 euros and put it under his mattress. The next day he went to the dealership with the money.  Our banker, also, told us to use it for major appliances because we would get an extra two years warranty on top of the manf warranty, IF, of course, we could find someone willing to accept a credit card.  The idea is if you don't have the cash, you aren't getting it. Regardless of whether you think you need it or not. I'm not sure if you can finance homes.  I think I read somewhere that foreigners cannot buy so we never looked into it.  I can say that the family who moved out of the apartment we are about to live in saved for a LONG time to be moving into their first house they have ever owned. I estimate they are early 40's with three children.

This is how I was raised to believe credit should be, so I just may be the only American NOT shocked or appalled.  Well, almost, I can think of a couple more and you know who you are :)

The Rocket

Imagine Target 20 years ago minus the clothing.  Or maybe, imagine a Walgreens/Target hybrid without clothing.  That's Mullers: cosmetics, housewares, toys, music, DVDs, and seasonal items.

I like to go through advertisements here because it helps me increase my vocabulary.  Imagine my surprise to see a selection of vibrators on sale at Mullers.  The US is so stuffy I got quite a kick out of it.  So, the next time I conference skyped with my dad, sister and brother in law.  I hurriedly giggled and said, "Oh, hee hee, I have to hurry and tell you something before mom gets home from church!" I described Mullers in general and then I called "earmuffs" and covered Colt's ears.  In telling my family about the ad, I chose my words carefully because he is about to start daycare.  I carefully used...erotic selection.  When I uncovered Colt's ears, his eyes got super big like he was in on the secret and he leaned towards the computer screen.  He said, "Papa, (gasp) a Rocket!" 

Could you?

It takes a certain kind of person to sell everything they own (cars, house, and furniture), take significantly less salary, pay significantly more in taxes, and move across the world.  I'm not sure if I am one of those people, lol, but by now I certainly better become one.  Here is a list of a few differences (from my perspective and understanding), so far.  Think about all of this. Are you willing?

Work:

When you resign, you must give SIX months notice.  You did read that correctly. SIX MONTHS!

A team is actually a team.  They eat lunch together, get coffee together after and take turns paying as coffee is not free. There is no coffee, tea, or snacks provided by the company. They laugh together, do each other favors, and there is no evidence so far of competition between team members.

Six weeks paid vacation that must be taken by April of the next year or you lose it.  Personal time and sick time can be taken as needed and doesn't count against your holiday time.

The hours you work are totally flexible, except you cannot work more than 40 hours or on Sunday.  It it illegal and your boss could be fined. Justin can no longer go in a 4:30 AM. :)

The perks are plentiful (with Justin's company, at least): Bahn 50 card, subsidized day care, very cheap gym classes, pretty much similar to his last two companies.

Renting an apartment:

Our contract has no stated time period.  If we live there less than 5 years, we give 90 days notice.  More than 5 years, six months notice.

All the repairs are on us.  The painting and renovations are us.  Everything is on us. 

Most apartments don't come with a kitchen (as in any kitchen cabinets, appliances, nothing but pipes.  Some apt don't have anything but walls, in the bathroom either.  We lucked out. The kitchen and bath were included but we do pay for all the appliances up front. We get our appliance money back when we leave minus how long we use it.

We must open all of the windows twice a day to flush the air out of the apt because there is not ventilation system. This is in our rental agreement :)

My washing machine is in the basement.  It is the norm in case it floods, then it doesn't flood anyone's property. 

Daycare:

There is an unstated amount of "settling in" time.  I go to school with Colt during the settling in time and he only goes for short amounts of time the first week depending on how well he adapts or if he cries.  Say day 1 and hour, day 2 maybe two hours if he adjusts, etc. I'm not sure if this matches my parenting philosophy or not, but subsidized beggars cannot be choosy.  lol

Colt will go Mon-Fri from 9-3.  He will eat breakfast, snack (30 euros a month) and lunch (1.60/ day)  there all healthy foods.   All for about 340 euros.  That rocks!  I don't even have to make lunches.  Super! When he turns 3 in 6 months, it will only be about 230 euros...a month!

Enough for now, but I will leave the ladies with one more oddity.  There are no tampons with applicators here.  They are all OB style. I won't comment on this.  You will just have to read all of the funny thoughts in my mind. 

Next time....banking and credit...very different

 

We have a bath tub and a shower, some people don't.

 

Our street

Sugar Lust

It seems I have been on a diet since I was 12.  I know I have been exercising to lose since that age  because I remember coming home from school to do aerobics in Jr. High.  My neighbor had warned me to never hit 100 pounds because I would never be able to lose it as I aged.  I believed her and at 103 I ate less and began exercising.  Diets, calorie counting, and obsession ensued.

At 38, I realized the universal truth that all men know.  Muscle weighs a lot and burns a lot of calories.  I didn't need to lose weight.  I needed to trim the fat off.  Long story short, I quit eating sugar/empty carbs, started lifting weights, and drastically reduced my cardio (makes me hungry).

Bakeries are to Kassel as Starbucks are to Houston.  They are everywhere and often have lines out the door.  Children around the age of 5 line up (on their own!) and wait in these lines to purchase an after school treats.  When I walk out my door, two bakeries are a few steps away and within a three block radius I count five bakeries/candy stores off the top of my head.  It's unreal!  I thought only Americans ate this much trash. Most people are a healthy weight here, children included. I'm not judging, but I was shocked.  At a play date, I watched a mom feed her 3 year old son cake, gummy bears, ice cream and a candy bar within 45 minutes.  WFT?  The poor kid doesn't have a chance. The ice cream and candy bar were very tiny versions, but still. Colt chose to play outside and had no afternoon snack.  He even gave her the ice cream cone back saying no thank you.

This all sounds frightening to an ex sugar addict but the truth is I don't have much of a taste for sugar any more.  It makes me physically sick after and most of the time I just don't want it.  We do wander in bakeries for coffee or tea (usually after a run or walk) and I do let Colt get a treat which I sometimes make him save for afternoon snack. Some things in life are worth waiting for and so I try to teach him that early on in life. If I treat myself, I get a croissant (trashy white bread and butter, but only 3 grams of sugar).  Compromise at it's best.

My difficulty with sugar filled Germany isn't the bakeries.  Sugar is loaded into all of their products.  It was hard enough in the US finding products low in sugar or without added sugar.  Here it is almost impossible.  I have been to three shops looking for zero carb protein and everyone looks at me like I am loo-loo!  You want no carbohydrates?  Hmmm.  Together we look at every package.  Zis does not exist.  I am told.  No shit, I think to myself.  I wonder if the girls at the gym know that snicker bars would be just as healthy. Seriously.

All that said....I can't wait until Christmas!  I am going to fill my stocking with the best chocolates and candies in the world and eat them all in one morning with a glass of champagne.    Special occasions always deserve over-indulgence!

only the beginning...

 

How we work it off!

10,000 Nudists

I asked the following question last night on FB:  Do I need a bathing suit to go to Kurhessen Thermals?  They are salt water pools here with varying temperatures of heat.  They are quite an attraction because a salesman in Frankfurt told me he drives up on Sundays just for the baths.  I asked the question because I have been dying to go since Fabio mentioned it and my swimsuits haven't arrived.  So, surprise!  This American was hoping for a No Swimsuit Required answer, after all this IS Europe.  Unfortunately, the answer was swimsuits in the pools and naked for the saunas and steam room.  No problem, I can easily wait one more month for my old lady swimsuits.

The question reminded me of my recent visit to 10,000 Waves.  In my humble opinion, the greatest Spa in the US.  Knowing it was only a matter of time before we left the US for good, I decided to go to 10,000 Waves last May for Mother's Day.  Not wanting to spend too much on indulging myself, I waited until the last minute to make my decision and by last minute I mean I called when we were already en route to Albuquerque.

Here is my conversation with the friendly Scott who booked my spa which includes communal hot baths:
Me:  Do I need a swimsuit?  Because I don't have one with me....
Scott:  Absolutely not!  We tell people to wear one if they are uncomfortable, but you will be in the minority. Most people choose to be nude.
Me:  Perfect, I didn't have one anyway.
Later on the highway to Justin:  I'm not sure how feel about Co-ed communal nudity.  I mean, at midnight after a few drinks cool.  At 9:00 in the morning sober???  I'm not so sure......

Later after a couple days in Albuquerque and a couple drinks, I repeat my concerns to Justin and his guy friends.  I'm not sure how feel about Co-ed communal nudity. I mean, at midnight after a few drinks cool. At 9:00 in the morning sober??? I'm not so sure...... Their advise: Just go with it, who cares?  I wouldn't know anyone any way. Cool.

I arrive at 10,000 Waves and check in.  It is breathtaking as it sits next to Santa Fe National Forest and easy to feel at ease there.  The nice lady checks me in and explains the day, shows me around.  The bath with my package is all day access to the WOMEN'S Baths!  AHHH, deep sigh of relief.  All my anxiety about saggy man parts disappears magically into the trees.  Whew!

Locker rooms and straight to the baths to enjoy every minute of my day away.  I hang my robe in the cute cedar sauna hut and nakedly parade through double doors into the thermal baths.  Surprise. Drum roll.... EVERY single women has on a swimsuit.  I am standing their naked, brows furrowed...not one nipple in sight ( Well, other than the two I'm openly sporting). Ughhh, there is even a look of surprise on their faces.  HAHAHA  Oh well, about 20 minutes later someone else showed who must have talked to Scott (the Liar), but by then I could have cared less. 

It made for a great story and who doesn't love a good story?  The look on their faces still makes me laugh...

No pictures with this post, sorry!  LOL

Made in Germany

Ninety percent of everything we buy here is Made in Germany.  I haven't seen Made in China on ONE label, seriously not one. IKEA is the only company that stands out in my mind as having products made in Asia (Thailand, maybe?).  It is a concept the US has struggled to promote, but hasn't been nearly as successful.  Regions and cities are often included on labels and people are rather devoted to local products and brands.  When I asked Hemingway which beer he preferred, he said, "Well, the beer made here in Kassel, of course," with a look of disbelief.  Kassel brews Martini Meister a pilsener which is fantastic so his devotion is well earned!  Most products here have pride built into them.  Interesting.

Another thing I have noticed all over Europe is how everything is so well-made and crafted.  There is a sense of permanency here that you rarely find in the states.  For example, windows here are much heavier and better sealed than even doors in the US. The stairs in our building are marble (or rather according to Justin polished limestone because marble isn't a real stone). Roofs, bridges, roads, etc aren't made to last a decade. They are made to last a century.  The playground we frequent has trash cans from the 50's that look like they could survive Hiroshima.  The play equipment itself is solid wood and heavy metal, not plastic and moldy cheap wood.  It makes for an impressive appearance and forms the grandeur that makes Europe romantic.

It left me wondering if cheaply made products are a result of capitalism. After all, if you have to replace it every 2-5 years, then business get to make more cheaply made crap which people continuously pay for again and again. Or maybe it is simply an attitude that accompanies overabundance, the knowing there will always be more. Who knows? I could speculate for days and offers hundreds of examples. Instead, I invite you to come see for yourself :)


This is a small park that is closet to our house. I wish I had taken a pic of the bullet proof trash cans and so of the other phenomenal parks.  All I have for now.

 

I love the Germans!

I always knew I would live in Europe, but Germany was a surprise.  Having never traveled here, I was at a loss for what to expect from the people themselves.  You can google museums, restaurants and shopping, but you cannot find online how much people laugh and smile even though it is raining. 

Germany may not be for everyone, but it's definitely for me.  I find the people incredibly friendly and snobby all at the same time.  For those of you who know me, I fit in well here. Most people have a confident formality about them that I love.  They always leave the house dressed in their Sunday best and look at me sideways in workout clothes (I overlook this because thin trumps well-dressed in my book :)). On the other hand, they are welcoming and seem to love Americans.  If not Americans, they do love practicing their English.  I have a wallet full of cards with names and numbers of people I have met on the tram.

Two days ago at the grocery store at 5.30PM Colt and I are standing in line.
"Guten Morgen, guten morgen, auf wiedersehen, etc.," Colt rambles.
Everyone (5) people look around at each other quizzically, slight smiles.
Colt says good morning about 3 more times.
People quietly giggle.
"Ok," I announce in English, "he has just started learning German and he is practicing.
"Oh, good job.  Good boy! Say it again!"  everyone brags and chuckles and tell each other in German why he has his days and nights confused. The checkout lady was adorable and tried to talk to all of us in English.  Colt went on and on about his cars to her as I translated car to auto.

Today, we went back to the store. No matter how many times I throw out Ja, Bitte, Danke.  Colt always gives me away. We approach the checkout and the same cashier grins. We checkout and I tell Colt to tell her Danke Schoen. Everyone nods and smiles.  There is an old lady at the end staring at us (very common here).  I encourage Colt to smile and tell her, Guten Tag.  He does and she just smiles from ear to ear (because I have the cutest boy ever) and she says, "Guten Tag."  Colt goes into a soliloquy about cars, trams and crashes.  Her jaw drops like OMG what just happend. She looks at the four people behind me SHOCKED, confused and horrified.  Everyone dies laughing at the look on her face.  One guy in line says to me, "American?"  Ja, ja I respond.  Then, the cashier tells everyone about the other night and we all have a belly laugh. I don't understand it all, but I did get the ein auto, ein auto, ein auto! lol

What's not to love about people who are always laughing and always well-dressed? 

Quarters in My Coffee Cup

Status can be defined by so many different things depending on where you are in the world. In one country, it could be owning a pair of shoes and in another it could mean owning your own jet. Status isn't something that's important to me. As a matter of fact, when I see people dressed a little too well, I usually just assume they overspend and have maxed out credit cards.  As most of you know, I'm very old-fashioned when it comes to money.

Don't get me wrong.  I love furs, handbags, and diamonds just like any other girl.  I like these things because of the way they make me feel (warm and snugly and all happy inside), not because what complete strangers on the street think of me.  And, you can take it to the bank (pun intended), if you see me in something designer, it will be paid for in full and have very tiny, visible labels (if any).

Status in Kassel is defined by your coat (and your car). Because of the cold, every one is in a coat all the time.  Most people don't even bother to take them off in stores and restaurants.  People can't see the label on your jeans.  No one pays attention to bags because you are usually carrying more than one for groceries and such.  It is all about the coat.  I learned this the hard way.  I was meeting a friend to go walking, for exercise.  I didn't want to get my nice coats sweaty so I wore one of Justin's fleece jackets that had been a freebie from Oxy.  I wish I could explain how everyone looked at me.  Pity is the word that comes to mind. I swear to you if I had sat down for a break on the curb they would have put quarters in my coffee cup.  HAHA  Seriously, people looked at me so sadly.  Under my coat, I had on very apparent workout clothes: Lucy yoga pants, a cute tank and nice, neon sneakers.  At the time, I didn't understand.  I wondered about the looks, but didn't get it.  It wasn't until last week on tram that I saw an older lady with the same look of pity looking at a homeless guy in an oversized raggedy jacket. Ohhhhh, people thought I was homeless.  wow

Will I wear this coat, again?  The girl who doesn't care anything about status.  Yes, absolutely.  I wouldn't want my new Armani with mink cuffs to get sweaty. ;)

Yes, I googled the 7 BILLION

There's close to 7 BILLION people on this planet.  It's a mystery why or how any of us feel isolated, isn't it?  But, we do.  ALL of us. We always have.  People began living in close proximity as a means of survival, necessity, but also because we are social creatures.  Life is easier in groups. With billions of people, over thousands of years, logic tells me I shouldn't even have one original thought in my entire lifetime.  However, humans like ownership.  We like the word and feeling associated with - MINE. It's why we marry, buy a home, and why we create (procreate).  My son. My husband. My art.

Has our need for ownership and defining ourselves isolated us?

Is it because we have few conversations face-to-face?

Or do we play it safe? Do we allow society to dictate our conversations and actions so much that we rarely communicate what we truly need to talk about with our friends and families?

How's the weather?  What did you do last week?  When did you potty train?  What book did you last read?  How was your blind date? These are the questions we safely ask.  We stick to the easy topics, light-hearted conversations, or simply shallow ones.   Sometimes, we need to get down to the nitty gritty. Take a dive into the deep end.  We need to feel more alive and to re-establish our connection with humanity.

It's time to get personal.

So in case you are feeling like you are the only one:

The last time I got in a screaming fight with my husband was in the middle of our back yard. Yes, I was the only one screaming.  It was embarrassingly in front of one of his life-long friends (sorry, Will!) and it was about Justin not doing enough around the house.

I have to apologize just about everyday to my son for losing my temper with him.  Yes, it's only for a minute or two at a time, but I do yell.  I yell knowing that toddlers are impulsive.  Knowing their brains are not finished developing.  Knowing that everything he does lacks maliciousness.  I yell even more when I am tired.

I do sometimes eat the entire bag of chips (whew, now only 125 grams, lol).

As a stay at home mom, I feel like I get stuck with all the crappy chores.

Most days, I wish I had a job at least once during every day.

The last time I cried was while typing this because mothers, daughters, friends and people everywhere should never have to feel alone when there are loads of people out there feeling the exact same way.

That's probably more than enough.

All that said, I LOVE my life.  I mean I truly, truly love the life I am living!  Life is about the beautiful and the ugly. Life is not always "How's the weather?"


Here are my snowy pictures from Frankfurt because I'm in a "stuck in the house, snowy kind of mood." It's 1 degree C outside.

The grainy texture are 1 inch snowflakes!

My sweet husband who I am sorry I yelled at in the back yard!

 

 

 

 

 

And in case you needed a happy ending, here is my next candidate for the show "What Not to Wear!" Those are woolly socks and Birkenstocks!

The Pastor and The Atheist

Forging friendships is a lot like finding a husband.  You can spend a lot of time searching for someone with just the right chemistry, but you can 't force it. It happens when it happens and often when you least expect it.

Yesterday, we went to an international group of English speaker's Halloween party.  I met a lot of very nice people and it made me start thinking. Friendships are relationships, requiring time, effort and commitment from both parties.  I think for every 100 people I meet only 1 or 2 meet my requirements.  How do adults make friends?  Houston to OKC.  OKC to Germany.  I am a social animal.  And so is Colt. It's difficult for even me to make friends.

Every one assumes it is easy to make friends on the playground with other adults who have children, especially if the children are close in age.  For me, I think it's harder getting to know other parents, especially with a child so young.  Instead of spending our time discussing interests, current affairs, or previous experiences, I find most of time is spent corralling children.  Or even worse, discussing our children.  I spend 24 hours a day with my son.  I love him to death, but when I finally get adult contact he is the LAST thing I want to discuss.  Not to mention, the thousands of differences in parenting and disciplining that brings unwanted advice and unsolicited conflicts. 

I don't necessarily look for people with similar interests: travel, exercise, art, etc.  I prefer a friend who brings new things to table. Things I can learn about, study, and then discuss. By thinking about how to make friends, instantly, I think about my friend, Jan, in OK.  We are total opposites and get along beautifully.  We make each other laugh and advise each other about serious issues.  By total opposites I mean, she is a pastor and I am an atheist.  We were once discussing a piece of art at an art festival.  The artist stepped in and commented.  To paraphrase (I can't remember) the conversation went something like this. 

Me:  Oh, she always thinks it's religious.  I always think the artist is being sacrilegious.  hahaha She is a pastor. I'm an atheist.

Everyone grins. The artist thinks we are joking.

Jan: Seriously.  hahaha

Me: And we get along beautifully!

The artist: How?

Jan and I look at each other and smile. 

Us: We respect each other completely.  We love each other. Who cares about our different beliefs?

The Artist (not grinning anymore):  If only the rest of the world was like that, they could learn a lot from you two.

Jan and I:  We know (grinning).

Off we went and had a wonderful day together.

I wish a checklist of all the reasons Jan and I get along so well would help me make friends here, but life and relationships aren't applications and checklists. Hours of thinking about it won't help me make new friends either.  It will happen when it happens with just the right person.

I'm very grateful for the friends that I have!  Take a moment to think about your friendships and what makes it work and let me know, please.

price available upon request

This is my first time to be an immigrant.  I know I speak a different language, even when I am trying to sound German.  My accent is different. My tones, inflections, and vowel pronunciations are all different.  However,  I don't understand how Germans know I'm from somewhere else when I have yet to speak, but they do.  They know.  I actually had a man stop of the street today and stare at me.  Are you kidding?  It's a good thing I'm not shy or self-conscience. Instead I gave him a look that said wtf are you looking at...good sir :)!  lol  People have blue eyes, dark hair and high cheek bones here.  My best guess is my nose which is quite different, but I'm truly clueless.

Alas, despite looks and language, there are things within my ability to blend.  For example, I picked up a fashion magazine in German the other day.  I could have just as easily been flipping through Vogue.  Seriously, I could read it.  I have no idea how...."price available upon request" must be a "truth universally acknowledged!"

Here's another brilliant example.  I was in a wine shop.  A man comes over and offers his help.  Nein Danke, I reply. He continues beyond my capability and I have to just stop him and own up to the fact that I don't speak German.  "Ah English," he says (knowing the whole time I'm not freaking German. Who knows how?), "hold on."  He goes and gets a young girl form the seafood department who speaks Eng, "May I help you?"


It goes down like this:
Me: Of course, thank you. Do you have any cab francs?
She looks to him.
He responds all in German:  No, if you want cab franc you must choose a Cabernet Sav. or Bordeaux.
Me: I'm over Cabernet.
Him in German: Then you will have to have Bordeaux.  They all include a different blend some 10% cab franc some 15%
Me:  But no true cab francs?
Him in German: No, but Bordeaux is better, no?
Me:  Ja, LOL

The girl stands between us with her jaw completely dropped and brings her hands up smiling...like what did you need me for???

Me: oh, sorry.  I speak wine.
Him: Ja, Ja laughing.  I speak vine. 

The man and I are standing there laughing as if we just shared the best joke ever.  Girl, still not amused, stands there shaking her head like we are both from Mars.

Germany is so much fun, even if they do stop and stare at me on the streets. 

Butt Naked

My son is an awesome sleeper.  Night time or naps we trained him from day one to sleep consistently.  If he hasn't fallen asleep in 30 minutes, there's a reason.  Normally, I tune out his chatter and ranting until the 30 minute mark. Lately, he just practices his German and talks about his day. Last night, I hear "Mom, mom, I'm soaked."  My ears perked up and 2 minutes later we were changing diapers and jammies because he had leaked out of his diaper some.  No harm, no foul.  Dry clothes, kisses and go don't let the bed bugs bite.

Today, 30 minutes into nap, he is still chattering.  As I head up the stairs he starts giggling, I'm sure you know what is coming next.  Naive as ever, I am shocked to find him shirtless.  WTH?  My tone immediately shifts to my stern deep voice because I am aggravated that he thinks this is amusing when he should be sleeping.  "Why is your shirt off?"  As I approach, he holds up his diaper and laughs more.  Me" WHY ARE YOU NAKED?"  Colt, " On, Off!"  Long deep breath, but still no smile. "If you want to practice taking your clothes on and off, that's fine.  But, not during nap time all by yourself. Do you understand?" 


Sigh, motherhood is frustrating, perplexing and always later amusing.  LOL

I much preferred this....

 

 

But he IS awfully cute naked! lol

Is it really worth a thousand words?

Sundays here are a conundrum.  99 percent of the city is closed and more people are out and about than any other day of the week. Justin and I decided last Sunday that we better figure out what everyone does!  They window shop, spend time with family and simply meander about slowly. 

At the end of our street and accessible by tram is Schloss Wilhelmshoher, Lowenburg Castle, and Herkules Monument.  The surrounding parks and gardens around all three were our Sunday destination today.  We went for a little hike to enjoy the fall colors. I could bore you with a cheesy description comparing it to a million things, but today I brought a camera AND batteries.

Before we begin, none of these pictures do this park justice. It is something created only in dreams.

Our tram stop

 

The cute tram stop and the entrance to the gardens.

 

Schloss Wilhelmshoher - A Museum and Gallery

The view from the back of the museum!

 

The pond at the park.

 

Lowenburg Castle in the distance

 

The city of Kassel from the top of the hill.

So sorry I didn't get any pictures of the 4 waterfalls we saw or the swans.  It was a bit darker near the falls.  Next time we are there in the afternoon, I will try for better lighting.  I still can't believe I live in this city.  When it hits me, I will let you know!  Happy Sunday!

One more, just to prove we were there ;)

Tortilla Pies...you know just like frito pies, but with tortillas :)

Traditions and customs are different all over the world.  A show of good manners from Texas could be insulting to someone in a new country.  When in doubt, tread lightly and ask as many questions as possible.  Oh,  and smile graciously :)

So, we invited our first house guests this Thursday evening.   I found everyone was looking around to see what each of us would do and everyone was careful with their words and manners.  It sounds stuffy, but it wasn't!  I took it as a great sign of respect from everyone.  It was a very pleasant, relaxing evening and the conversation was brilliant.

Both people showed up with chocolates.  Mental note to self, at house parties in Germany bring chocolate.  Not surprising, chocolates in Germany are phenomenal.  I haven't tried one yet that didn't make me close my eyes and moan. ;)  Pia (our realtor/translator/ and hopefully my future shopping friend and girl trip companion) did mention she wanted to bring flowers, but waited to late.  Living in Germany is improving my ability to listen on so many levels!  Noted chocolate and/or flowers.

I made a huge pot of chili and was prepared to serve it a couple ways.  I had wine and beer for the adults and tortilla chips and bread to go with chili.  I offer to get a drink for Hemingway.  He thinks. "I think for chili, wine would better, no?"  "Usually, yes, but this chili has about 8 ounces of Martini Winterbreu in it so that it will pairly beautifully with beer, also,"  I respond.  Huge grins all around, a few eyebrows lift, and he says with a sigh, "beer, then."  Noted, people here also pair their food with their drinks.  I didn't offer cocktails prior to dinner because we had none.  No one mentioned it though and so I think it was cool.

The conversation went from films in every language to composers.  Never being at a loss for words and laughter make me able to relax even with people we are just beginning to know.  It was great fun.  Hemingway was keen to talk about the presidential debates and Justin and I were quick to change the topic.  haha  I did tell Toni that he is quite famous I had been blogging about how I think he is like Hemingway.  LONG PAUSE.  I suddenly get nervous, "do you know Hemingway?"  Hemmy, "I've read them all.  I think there is one major difference.  I am not a womanizer like he was."  Laughs all around.  "It was that Finnish woman I married."  hahaha  Perfect response for a perfect evening.

"I love to cook for people.  Next time, I will make Beef Bourguignon," I say.  "Not to be stereotypical, or draw conclusions," Hem says, "but that is the last thing I would expect you to make."
Justin quickly, "oh, my wife has always been European at heart."  I give a coquettish grin, "I have always thought I was French .....Royalty in a past life.  Pia grins the same grin, "Oh, me, too!"  We instantly bond.  The men just shake their heads. LOL

I bought dessert which I wouldn't normally do but....I don't have any of my recipes, measuring cups, etc AND why bake a dessert with two bakeries on my corner.  I bought something that looked divine and should have stuffed with real flowers.  It was a German Tree Cake. Everyone seems fine with me buying dessert, whew.  When I asked if I should make coffee, Hemingway responded, "at this time of night?"  My thoughts exactly.  Noted.

Enough with the boring details of my dinner.  When I went to wash the dishes, I found the chili pot looked like it had been licked clean.  Totally empty.  SCORE!

I can't wait until my next party - MEXICAN.  It will be much easier with the few subtle lessons I learned this time around.  I will wait until our container arrives so that I can send everyone home with sombreros! OLE!

On the Tram

Yesterday, I was on the tram and stood up for my stop.  As I leaned over to get Colt, the tram came to a complete emergency brake stop to avoid hitting a car.  I went flying, literally.   At least, Colt didn't.  It did scare him though and I think we both may be slightly traumatized. I know, I am!

It's hard to be brave everyday! Today is one those days where don't want to leave the house because I don't feel like dealing with the uncertainty and hassle of not speaking German.  I woke up feeling like I'd been run over by a bus because well, I kinda have. But alas, we have a chili party tonight and what choice does a girl have when she has to grocery shop.  Figuring out how to get my deposit back on my glass bottles was easier than I thought without the ability to speak Deutsche.  So grateful, someone had the foresight to put pictures on the Recycle Machine for Dummies.

 My goal for the week was two trips to the gym. My goal for the day was yoga, weights, grocer. So I did get my last bit of groceries, but I just didn't feel like conquering my first yoga class in German.  Think about it.  No one speaks ANY English at SheBody. Here is the list of stressful situations to arrive at yoga class to relax:  front desk check in, getting my child to the daycare center and settled, figuring out how the lockers lock and unlock, borrowing a mat, and then the class (which I think will be the easy part).

Maybe tomorrow when I don't feel like I've been run over by a tram, I will brave pilates.

Size DOES Matter

If Americans are synonymous with super-sizing, then Europeans have the market cornered on micro-sizing.  From grocery stores to restaurants, the amounts here you receive are very tiny quantities of pure perfection.  Micro suits me, but I suspect Justin is starving.  (evil grin) Not that an entire pot of coffee doesn't have it's place (Sunday mornings, long chats with friends), but a shot of espresso makes my day. The flavor is more intense.  The caffeine hits my blood stream more quickly.  Espresso is a tiny cup of love.  I even love the tiny cups, maybe it is from years of childhood tea parties.  Dainty=fun. 

Allow me to give some examples and you can compare for yourself the size you would buy in the states:

Packages of tortillas come in two sizes....large (US small) tortillas with 6 or XL (medium) with 4 in a package

Tortilla chips ...only one size 125 grams (@ 4 ounces and some chips are only 3 oz)

bananas  LOL you may buy as many as you like, but the only choice in size is small @ 4-5 bites FOR COLT

peanut butter...one size 350 grams @11 0z)

milk ...the largest I have seen is a liter


You get the picture.  It makes for frequent trips to grocery store which I prefer anyway because I like looking and it gets me out of the house.  Within 3 blocks, I have my choice of 4 grocers: BioMarket, Tegut, Penny Markt, and a Family Farmer Market type place.  That is only in one direction.  Honestly, I haven't been the opposite direction yet.

The biggest benefit of micro-sizing is my change in attitude.   It has no relationship to cost or quality.  Small quantities make the three of us savor every bite.  It's a miracle.  Even though I enjoy grocery shopping, it is a chore with a two year old.  Carrying or rolling two bags of groceries three blocks in the cold is hard!  The less everyone eats, the less it feels like a chore.  A 4 inch jar of PB is tiny, but I swear it last the entire week just like the 26 ounce jar I used to buy.  Every one gets a thin layer now instead of globs. 

Have I lost weight in two weeks?  Hell, No! lol The one thing that is the same size is wine. 750ml of beautiful Bordeaux and we get to drink a bottle every night!  All of my clothes do fit the same though and I now indulge in bakeries! I even wished I had a scale this morning.  Micro-sizing has it's perks!  All of the working out I used to do, seems so silly now.  Weights for 15 minutes and day and a little yoga for my sanity and I'm done!

Oh the Bakeries in Germany will have to be a three part series! I am trying to stay out of them because everything is micro here cars, toilets, beds, etc.  :)

The Rules of Engagement

85% of communication is non-verbal. This is great news for three people who don't speak German in Kassel. A first impression is created in 9 seconds.  More good news. 

Elderly people here amaze me.  They take the stairs even when there is an elevator.  They are active and continue to walk great distances even with walkers and groceries.  Hoisting themselves and their walkers onto the tram full of people, they go on about their lives as if they were 30, not 80.  It's impressive.

The other day an older lady fell on the sidewalk.  We rushed over.  Nice people world-wide do and say the exact same things, so language is irrelevant.  It never occurred to any of us that we spoke different languages. The scenario MAY have been like this, lol. 


English Us running over (look of shock): Oh, my god.  Are you ok?
German Lady holding up her hands:  I think so, I don't seem to be bleeding. (My best guess)
Me (stroking her hair and helping her up): Are you sure you are OK? Did you hit your head?
Her (touching the side of her face): No, I think I'm ok.  (points down to the uneven step) I think I fell on that.  (grimace, hint of smile)
Me:  I know.  It's ok as long as you are ok.  (smiling and patting her arm)
Her:  Danke Shoen
Me:  Bitte Shoen (Finally words I know!)

It's like this. People are people.  The same events happen all over the world to everyone. 

People are heartbroken, babies are born, accidents happen and people get married. Words aren't nearly as important as:
a warm, sincere smile
a helping hand
a hug
etc

Chocolate covered espresso treats

Yesterday was a beautiful day of sunshine for Kassel so we decided to skip Colt's afternoon nap and take a lazy river cruise down the Fulda River.  Although I translated the website page by page, I couldn't figure out if we needed tickets prior or could just pay on board.  A few of the details escaped me.  Willing to be flexible though and change plans if necessary, we set out to the river.  We happened upon an event or party.  Either way, all of the people at the boat dock knew each other and spoke German.  No problem,  the captain said not to worry and took our euros.  The views were amazing and well worth cheating Colt's nap. The boat was meant to turn at a halfway mark and return to Kassel.  It is obvious we are nearing the halfway mark and suddenly the boat docks.  AND EVERYONE EXITS!  Justin and I look at each other and then with butterflies in our tummies we wait.  No one comes over to tell us to disembark.  I'm not sure if this makes me feel better or more anxious, lol.

We enjoyed the rest of our return trip uneventfully and drink more bier. 

Starving and very tired we search for a restaurant near the boat docks. We find a charming Italian place.  The food and service were excellent.  Knowing the baby was tired, the waiter brings tiny chocolates individually wrapped and says, "treats for the baby".  Bribing Colt to finish his pizza, we give him three "treats." Then, I eat one.  Horrified, I look at Justin and say, "I'm not 100 percent sure, but I'm pretty sure they are chocolate covered coffee beans."  We stare open-mouthed at each other.  Then, I start laughing.  Really laughing.  As in, I can't stop laughing!  We tap the waiter on the arm and inquire.  "Oh no," he says, "chocolate covered ESPRESSO beans."

The baby was no longer tired. :)

Vicariously through whom?

Hemmy: My mother-in-law is a BEAST.  A Beast I tell you.  (Big eyes through Big glasses)

J&N: Ah, yes, we know.  No one ever likes their MIL.  Always the joke. (haha)

Hemmy: No, reeeally.  She is 92. One time she ask me, 'do you think I will live to 100?'  Unfortunately, yes, yes, I know you will. (grimace....straight face)

Justin and I were both laughing hysterically.  Hemingway never cracked a smile. 

He looks just like the old man in UP.  But.  He is anything but grumpy and even more animated than his cartoon counterpart.  His passion for living is usually only found in youth.  Big, burly, and perpetually scruffy is putting it mildly. 

Here are a list of his passions:
Fishing in Alaska
Chopping wood
Drinking Beer
Adventure traveling


People read for different reasons. When Hemingway and I were first introduced, I was in high school.  Reading brought friends into my life that I couldn't find in real life, but desperately needed. I was fascinated with the Lost Generation from every perspective literature, art, drinking, etc.  It is miraculous really that I now find myself living next door to the character in all the books I used to love.  I moved right next door to my best friend from HS.  Amazing. I can't wait to challenge him to a boxing match! Even at 60, he will kick my ass!

Living Next Door to Hemingway

Moving is a difficult transition.  The further away from home you travel the difficulty exponentially increases. Traveling across several time zones was the easy part.  The train station in Frankfurt is attached to the airport. Simple, right?  Our flight miraculously arrived on time and so did our all of our luggage. Cake. After a long sigh of relief, we loaded up our mountain of suitcases on a cart to make our direct train in an hour.  All we had to do was transport six 50 pound suitcases, one stroller and a two year old who hadn't eaten breakfast to platform 8 for the long distance trains. With a total of 8 wheels and 4 hands, off we roll confidently.

 Long story, short: functional elevators are few and far between.  We did finally find one, but it was so far away we lost track of where we were, only to find we needed to go up a flight of steps right back from whence we came. We illegally tried to use the escalators only to be scolded by airport security because of the baby. in the stroller. staring back at me as the front end goes upward. hearing I'm scared. I'm scared. After finally finding the long distance trains, there is no platform 8 because surprise! Our tickets which we so intelligently printed in the US are from a different train station and the direct train has already left. With the kindness of a stranger, we load all of our luggage onto the a train and only have to make one connection at the main station.  We arrive at Frankfurt Main in 10 minutes and she helps us unload. Brilliant.  11 whole minutes to the platform beside us, cool.  Except, it is down a flight of stairs and up flight another stairs with 6 suitcases, a stroller, and one angry, hangry baby. lol.  I was too tired to cry, honestly!  We manage to arrive in Kassel find Hemingway not in his office or anywhere near his phone.  Sunday! Oh mein gott!

After a night of intermittent sleep, we walk across the street and meet our delightful new neighbor.  A hemingway type who I can't wait to tell you all about tomorrow!  Figuratively speaking, of course.